This weekend, a friend of mine told me about his friend who was going through a tough time. Life around him crumbled to pieces, and he did not see his manner out of confusion. "I spent last nighttime with him, trying to assist him", my friend said, "and I will travel there today as well." When I asked what sort of sort of aid he was offering, he could not really give me a concrete answer. "Well, we take it as it comes, we speak about whatever surfaces, and I give him advice."
And here is where I cautioned him: be careful with giving advice to people. We all have got failed with friends before regardless how solid our purposes were to assist them out of the messiness they were in; we all learned the lesson many modern times over: people anticipate you to lead, and then, they resent you for it.
Giving advice is unsafe on many levels. Then finally, what can we make then? How can we truly help? I believe that giving direct advice takes away the determination devising powerfulness from the 1 who necessitates it. None of us cognizes the whole truth; we each cognize a splinter of the truth, the manner we see things. We don't cognize other people's karmic roles, the dialogues their psyche made for the experiences they have got to travel through in this life to germinate spiritually. By telling them "do this", and "don't make that", we coerce them to jump of import phases of Negro Negro spiritual development that, although painful, may be necessary for them to travel through to attain a higher spiritual plane. Skipping phases will not decide but only postpone the lessons that have got the chance to be learned now to a future date, when the same jobs will show themselves with greater military unit and impact.
So, finally, what can we make that is effectual and sincere?
We can listen to their hurting attentively and validate their emotions; what they experience is existent for them. We can state them about the experiences we went through and what helped us in similar situations. We can state them what we would make if we were in their shoes. Our angle is valuable, and it is not direct advice. We can put out the Gipsy card game to derive new perspectives. We can promote them by saying that with time, they will happen the best reply for themselves. Until that happens, we are here to love and support them in their hard journeys. We will back up any determination they will do because we understand that it is their psyche that is desperately trying to seek for solutions that demand to apparent in this world.
This is not being insincere; we are allowed to show sentiments from our perspective. But it is their life and the determination as to how to dwell it is theirs. Trust that they will make the best determination they can dwell with, even if it is not the determination we would make.
Remember, we don't see into the delicate karmic layers of other people's lives, as no 1 sees into our layers. We are all at different degrees of Negro spiritual development.
Look at life from a higher plane.
Keep your friendships,...